There is always the temptation to start a new, refresh, and resolve something at the beginning of a new year. I recall many friends and family members posting on their social media, “New Year, New Me!” Followed by their list of goals and New Year Resolutions. It’s an exciting time filled with motivation for growth and change.
This year I found myself asking the question… “Why do I always fail at meeting my New Year Goals?” I’m not sure I have an answer, but it got me thinking about this strong desire to become something new, to become *someone new*. What happens to the old? To the person I was at midnight on January 31st, shouting and cheering? Are they gone? Are they old news? Yesterday’s garbage, ready to be tossed out to make room for the new and exciting me? Healthier me? Worthier me?
Striving to become “somebody new” can leave us feeling empty, unmotivated, and quiet often stuck. Maybe it’s because we don’t ever actually become someone new… we become a new version of ourself.
The seed that started the tree is always a part of the tree, it didn’t suddenly become a new tree. Instead, it grew and transformed. So…
With any growth comes change. With change comes some loss (we are losing old ways, even if they were harmful or unhealthy). With loss, big or small, there is grief. With grief there can be amazing transformation.
This isn’t to say that our new year goals aren’t being met because I’m not spending the first week of the year crying in bed over not eating carbs. Instead I think of it as a way honoring that eating carbs can be attached to many moments in our life, special and meaningful, and by not eating carbs we are losing the possibility of those moments. It’s amazing what that awareness can do, and by creating moments in our new year to honor what served us then, but understand that it is no longer serving us now.
Maybe it isn’t giving up carbs, but instead, you’re setting healthy boundaries in the new year. What are you giving up when you set those boundaries? What can you do to honor that for yourself, process it, heal from it, and transform yourself from that experience?
Here is what I’ve committed to in 2022… and with that commitment what loss I may experience. I know that being aware of what I’m losing will help me to honor the challenge it is to grow and change. I will be kind to myself, because I recognize and honor how difficult these tasks are for me.