It’s February, the month of love. Or is it?
In January we tend to create goals, set our New Year resolutions, and make big plans and set up high expectations for ourselves. In February we may still be riding the “high” of the new year, or settling for, “I’ll try again next year”. Maybe in our relationships we’ve put our partner to the test, made it through the holidays, and we set our hopes to find success in our relationship on Valentine’s Day.
Do you find yourself getting stuck in a loop with your goals? This is totally normal, but still really frustrating. Is reaching goals about commitment?
Creating the “right” kind of goal?
The support you have around you?
A feeling of inspiration?
Maybe it’s none of these, but it’s more likely that it’s ALL OF THEM.
Here are two helpful tips that I use to create goals with my clients.
First, what are your values? It’s hard to know what you want or need in your life without knowing what your values are. “What’s a value”… that’s a great question. A value is a belief that has worth. Values are the beliefs that you live by. You can use your morals to guide you in creating your values. Morals are what we believe about right and wrong, values are the way we live those morals.
Next, what is your goal? It can be any kind of goal, personal, professional, your mental or physical health, or maybe to improve communication or intimacy in your relationship? Whatever your goal is, make sure it’s specific. It’s a lot harder to reach a goal that could have 500 outcomes. Also, make sure that your goal is tied to your values. If your goal is not important to you AND tied to your values it makes it a lot harder to reach it.
Eating healthy may not be tied to your values. Think about it like this… Maybe you have a value that you will be courageous in all that you do, or that you choose to protect others when they face challenges. If you set a goal that you will face your fears of working out in the gym, or set a goal to protect your body from harmful foods – it might align better with your values. This will make it easier for you to reach your goals.
Last, surround yourself with people who align with your values. There is nothing more encouraging than a group of people cheering you on and understanding how important your goals are (and maybe sharing some of the same goals you do). When your friends, family, coworkers, or partner share the same values you do, it might be the difference between success and not reaching your goals.
Even though January is gone, and February will soon be half over, that does not mean you should give up on your own potential. Give this method of creating goals a try, see what comes from this process and don’t be afraid to share your experience!