Last week on my podcast for kids, Pineapple, Orange, Banana, I shared my “Unicorn Cupcake” Recipe. It’s a fun way of explaining to kids how to use “I Feel” statements, or some people may know them as “I” statements.
“I Feel” Statements are the number one tool among the several foundational skills for healthy communication and is often the first skill I teach children and adults in therapy sessions. I know that the unicorn cupcake recipe is as important to children as it is to adults. We all struggle to communicate how feel sometimes, but if we simplify how we express ourselves to a recipe that is easy to follow and guaranteed to help us communicate what we are feeling and what we need, then we should use it, right?
The recipe is simple, and if you practice it every day, you’ll start to see it roll off your tongue, as if it was always part of your vernacular. The recipe goes like this…
I feel [state the feeling you’re experiencing, or as I might say, choose your cupcake flavor]
When [share what is causing these feelings, this is the eggs, flour, and butter of your cupcake]
I need [what do you need to make the feelings go away or stay, I imagine this to be the sprinkles and frosting on top]
I’m excited to share this recipe with and curious to know how it works in your life. Try it everywhere, at work, with family, friends, in your relationship, with your kids (even in public with strangers that are invading your space). It’s a truly magical tool that can help you communicate better!