Insecurity is an emotion and a state of being. We can feel insecure in our relationships and lack connection and trust. We can be insecure in our physical state, as in lacking resources and physical safety. We can also experience insecure as an emotion, which comes from a sense of feeling unsure and unsafe.
Insecurities show up for all sorts of reasons, some may be based off lived experiences, and some may be a current state you’re living through. Some insecurities start with societal expectations, like the ideal body or income. When these standards aren’t met, some people feel insecure about their place in society.
Embracing and accepting oneself, weaknesses and all, is a great place to start when combating insecure feelings. Insecurity is linked to a fear of being vulnerable, which can be hard if you’re not able to face your weaknesses. Healthy relationships are also a great way to combat insecurity. When you can seek reassurance without shame, that has a major impact on feeling more secure. There also systemic issues at play here, if we want to help people feel more secure as a society, we need to understand the serious negative impact poverty, discrimination, and violence has on people’s mental health.
People can be insecure in their relationship, wondering if their partner really likes them, or if they’ve done enough. Insecurity may show up when your landlord won’t fix the mold problem in your home and you worry if you’ll be safe. Insecurity may present as body image issues, feeling like you’re not meeting society’s (very unhealthy) beauty standards.
Healing insecurities is a process that starts with self acceptance and self awareness.
Understanding how and where insecurity shows up in your life can give you special insight into where these insecurities stem from. I encourage my clients to start there with healing, holding that part of themselves with special attention and nurturing.
Confidence is connected to self esteem, but it also comes from a collection of other emotions, like trust and hope. Healthy relationships are an amazing way to grow confidence. Relationships with people, and with cultural expectations, can have an influence on how we see ourselves. If you want to have high confidence, look at your relationship with food, exercise, hobbies, work, and your family or partner.
I recommended anyone struggling with feeling insecure feelings focus on their needs. Move your body daily, invest in your interests, find a community of people you feel safe with, examine your relationships with societal expectations, and find a good therapist to help you process where your insecurities started.
Annalyse A. Lucero 